Just. Be. Nice.

Aunt Rhonda pictured.

Being nice costs us nothing, but there are negative people consistently around us. I know people that believe the world and those within it are conspiring against them. Those same individuals do not realize how draining it can be to hear stories of the world conspiring against them continually. Being nice and having positive energy is a choice I make every day of my life. I work to keep my attitude and my energy in check at all times. It does not mean that I am perfect, but I am aware of the energy and attitude that I give off.

Like most black people within America, I was provided lemons as a child, actually not even lemons… I was given lemon seeds. To this day, I have the space to complain about what I did not have growing up or various shortcomings we dealt with as a family. Rather than complain about those lemon seeds, I learned how to plant, cultivate, and grow lemons. Now at the age of 32, I am beginning to produce lemonade.

I learned having a positive outlook on life was important from my aunt Rhonda and my sister Kia. My aunt always had a positive outlook on life. She and her husband always showed up and never gave off negative energy. They were not rich financially, but they were wealthy with friends, family, and people that genuinely loved them. People enjoyed being around them because they were always a breath of fresh air. During holidays, I always wanted our family dinners to be at my aunt’s house because I knew it would feel like love, patients, and positive energy. I can remember her simply smiling at people that hit her with negative comments. She shrugged it off and kept moving within her life and continued to stay positive. Seeing and experiencing this indirectly taught me how important it was to protect my energy and give off positive and kind energy to those around me. To this day, I feel like she’s invincible due to her outlook on life. 

I watched my aunt lose her husband to cancer, and I remember being overly concerned for her and concerned that this may have been her breaking point to her kindness. Rather than breaking, she showed up and still had patients and was overly kind to family and friends during the entire process. I am sure the whole process was complicated for her, yet she still held her head high and did not complain openly. Indirectly, my aunt taught me so much about the world and about how your character matters.

I choose to be nice towards everyone I encounter because you never know what people are dealing with internally. The world owes us nothing, and this is something we have to understand. I have been sad and dealt with many struggles within my life, yet I have never been defeated. I choose not to offload negative energy on people because I know how deeply your hurt can impact others or even ruin their day. I also see the power in positivity and in being nice.

I want to be the light in people’s days and never the dark cloud. I choose to be nice daily because I want to be the best version of myself. Every morning I conduct a mental check, and I put a reminder out there to lead my journey with empathy, patients, care, and kindness. By doing this, I know I am becoming the best version of myself and giving the best version of myself to the world. Life is hard. I get it, trust me, I get it. I wrote earlier that this year had been the most challenging year within my adulthood. I still choose to lean into being nice while avoiding offloading my pain and hurt on others.

My advice is not to conceal your pain or struggles overly, but it is a gentle reminder to seek out the silver lining. The glass is always half full even when you believe that it is half empty. Try shifting your negative thoughts and becoming a positive impact on someone’s day. You never know who will be helping. As a reminder, just. Be. nice.