Mentors Matter

I have received questions revolving around mentors and how I acquire influential mentors. I pride myself on continually asking for mentorship and guidance from people that I admire. The worst anyone can ever say is “no”, or, “now is not a good time to take on a new mentee.” Do not feel discouraged if this is the answer you get. You should feel grateful that they were forthcoming and honest about their time commitments upfront rather than stepping in as an absent mentor, which does not feel great.

Why a mentor is important:

An influential mentor can add value to your life and to your personal and professional goals. Influential mentors serve as advocates when you need guidance, trusted advisors, and someone to strategize ideas with. Mentors also challenge your thought process, and in doing so, allow you to formulate new ideas and concepts. If you have the goal to become a leader, then learning from a mentor is essential. Mentors help to develop the next set of future leaders. A mentor can help you understand the balance between professionalism and what it takes to be “street smart.” Most, if not all, mentors have ascended to their position due to the relationships they have developed and cultivated. They will help you better understand how to begin forging relationships of your own and how to use that to your advantage. A good mentor can teach you how the world works and what processes and strategies you need to understand to succeed.

How to acquire mentors:

Seeking out mentors is not always a comfortable journey. I strongly suggest spending time vetting the person that you are interested in asking to mentor you. You should be aware of their characteristics and understand what value they can bring to you. You should also challenge yourself on what value you can bring to your mentor, as this should not be a one-sided relationship. Seek to understand the individual’s personality, their characteristics, and their interests. The more you can learn upfront, the deeper connection you can establish initially.

I follow four rules when defining my mentorship relationships:

1.     Be intentional with your approach

As I mentioned above, do your research, and better understand what it is about this person that you would like to learn from their experiences. Get to know the person if you don’t already know them on a personal level. Be open and honest about your background and your life experiences. Be clear to set your intentions, ask the challenging questions, allow yourself to be vulnerable, and lock-in. 

2.     Respect their time & come prepared

Respect your potential mentor’s time when you are setting up a meeting. A person will be more willing to mentor you when you are punctual and stick to your meeting invites. Be sure you have agenda items and critical things you would like to cover during your time with this person. Being “off the cuff” is fine from time to time, but in the initial stages, be sure to have meaningful content and topics to cover.

3.     Seek to understand

Remember that you are seeking guidance from this person you admire, so allow them the platform to openly and freely share from their personal experiences. Ask challenging questions while being open to answering challenging questions yourself. Share your goals and understand what theirs may be. Allow for this partnership to truly feel two-sided during every connection.

4.     Avoid coming empty handed & always offer something in return

People typically look at mentorship opportunities from a single point of view, which usually revolves around “what I can get out of this.” I challenge you to always think about how you can help a mentor. Sometimes it is merely asking them at the end of a call or meeting “how can I help you?” or just allowing them space to freely share if there is something that is top of mind for them. We are all going through life, so it is essential not just to take, but to be sure to add back to the jar of life.

I would suggest working hard to be authentic when seeking out mentors. I struggled my entire childhood and through college being transparent about aspects of my life when talking with mentors or anyone for that matter. I had to learn to “drop cool,” which is the act of allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Once I was able to be open, honest, and intentional about my life and my goals, I was able to cultivate strong mentor relationships. Be intentional, respect their time, seek to understand, offer help, and go for it.