Being Persistent
A couple of weeks ago, India and I attended a wedding rehearsal dinner for her best friend and one of my closest friends. As we sat at this outdoor dinner table across from each other, I was reminded how fortunate I was to call this stunning and intelligent woman my wife. Weddings will do that, and they can remind you of the beauty behind having a life partner, someone that will sacrifice and lay it all on the line for you. To this day, I catch myself quietly watching India as she teaches our daughter the values of life or teaches me how to do Tatum's hair. I watch her as she leads within her career and invests time back into the community. I watch and listen to her as she communicates with me and shares her thoughts on our areas of opportunity and how we can get better.
As we were at dinner, a newly found friend asked us a few questions about our relationship. One of the questions was, "what was it about this person that made you realize that this was the one." I correlated my answer to the movie twilight and imprinting. Still, in reality, it has to have been god because I saw this woman, knew nothing about her and decided that this was the woman I was going to marry. India thought about her answer and stated, "he was persistent" she looked deeply into my eyes and smiled. At first, I thought to myself… wait… that's all you have for me, lol! But then, as I internalized it and thought back on the ups and downs of us being young and dating before marriage. Persistent is absolutely the perfect word.
Attending Morehouse, I believe at least 50% of the student population was middle class to upper-middle, with a few affluent families sprinkled in and a few low-income families similar to mine. I set my intentions early, and I would accomplish the goals that I set, and one of those goals was finding a wife and a life partner. To this day, I am persistent and intentional in everything that I do because I am still chasing my goals. India knew nothing about me and was dating another guy when we met, unfortunately for him, but fortunately for me, I would not let that stop me from getting to know her. When we dated, I was adamant about working things out whenever we had issues and not walking away or turning our backs on the other person. I came from a life where my parents were gone for long durations. I did not want or welcome that with anyone who was a part of this new life journey with me.
"Persistence refers to perseverance despite fatigue or frustration." I don't care how fatigued or frustrated I may become; I will work at my relationship not just with my wife but with my friends, my family, and those committed to our relationship. People ask me about marriage often, and it's simple to me why India and I are 90% of the time in a perfect place. We are persistent, and we don't allow the other person to become lazy. I don't cheat on India or my family and friend's happiness or relationship in general. I love hard, I show up, and I am persistent. Being persistent is essential in everything we do, including love, friendships, faith, and careers.
I interviewed to become a business consultant at Chick-fil-A more than a decade ago and was told no after my final interview. For a decade, I carried that missed opportunity with me in everything that I did. I pushed myself to get better and to learn more by expanding my knowledge. I did not allow myself to get defeated. If I am entirely honest with you, I said to myself, "I'll be back" after receiving a call and being told that I did not receive the offer. I was persistent in my growth by pushing my career in management consulting, growing my network, going on to graduate school, adding to my personal and professional resume to become better. A decade later, a Chick-fil-A leader suggested that I become a business consultant because of my experience. A decade after being told no, I landed the job I wanted ten years ago by being persistent in pursuing success and happiness.
I don't set limitations on myself or anyone that is around me. If you are persistent in chasing the hell out of your goals, you will land where you want to be. If you are relentless in your relationship and not lazy with your partner's needs, wants, expectations, happiness, and love language, then you both will make it and not just make it but thrive. Be persistent, follow up, tell people what they mean to you and what your expectations are. You never know where it will take you within your beautiful journey.