It’s Important To Challenge Your Friends
My most profound bonds are with my closest friends that I consider to be my brothers. Within these friendships, we collectively as well as consistently challenge each other. We test our overall thoughts, ideas, concepts, relationships, careers. We challenge almost any and everything that deserves deeper reflection. Challenging your friends respectfully but honestly helps to avoid complacency and becoming too comfortable or stagnant in our everyday lives. Challenging your friends can also help establish deeper bonds by helping to avoid surface level relationships with little to no substance.
Strive to seek out and encourage open and honest dialogue from your closest friends. It is not always easy, and sometimes the feedback you give or receive can be life changing. A couple of years back, one of my best friends shared with me that during that time in his life, he did not believe that I was healthy for him and his mental space. This hurt my feelings beyond belief because I have always strived to be a supportive brother to my closest friends, and really to anyone that allows me an opportunity to operate in that space. Rather than turning my back on him by deflecting and making this his problem, I pushed myself to go through deep inward reflection. This helped me to better understand my internal characteristics that were coming out and landing in ways that I did not want them to resonate with my brother, or anyone for that matter. I realized that at times I could be too brash and even a jerk. I had to find the balance between when to joke and when to be serious about real-life topics. Going through this inward reflection forced me to be more sincere and less dismissive of people. I would not have had this opportunity without accepting my friend's direct, raw, and honest feedback.
In return, this helped guide my direction, helped me set my intentions, and helped me grow as a man who wants to give more to the world rather than continuously take. My friend challenging me during a time that I was unhealthy for him allowed me to have insight into my personal blind spot. I would not have had an opportunity to course correct this gap in my life if it were not for him providing that feedback to me in a very direct manner. Don’t get me wrong, it hurt my feelings severely hearing that from a friend, but it was his truth and it was up to me to work on becoming a better human. I want balance in my life, and I want to be the best version of myself every single day. Therefore, I need open and honest feedback from my closest friends in order to achieve the balance I am seeking.
By challenging our friends, it allows for continued growth, personal development, and building stronger bonds. This better prepares us for the complexities of the world and dealing with varying personalities and life complexities. Our friends love us, and we love our friends. The best way to honor those friendships, brotherhoods, and sisterly bonds is by opening up the door and allowing healthy open and honest dialogue.
Respectfully challenge your friends with grace, elegance, and in a meaningful yet encouraging way. We are all human. People typically do not want to be spoken down to, so be sure to handle each conversation with care. Pushing our friends builds character and allows us to grow into the best versions of ourselves. Lean in and allow yourself to be pushed, and also provide challenging yet honest feedback to your friends, you never know what you will be helping them accomplish someday.