Financial Planning Day
Most of us have grown up not truly understanding the value of money and the importance of financial planning, yet this is one of the most important aspects of any marriage. Often a top reason leading to divorce revolves around the subject of money and finances. Being able to communicate openly and honestly with your spouse is imperative for your financial planning.
India and I have always been transparent about our income and adamant about having full transparency. We both do fairly well in our careers, but even when she was still in dental school, and I was a struggling analyst, I was very transparent about the money I earned, and we both spoke about our overall strategy of how WE should be using the money. We began planning early before being married. We regularly talked about finances and goals. Having these pre-marriage financial conversations helped us continue to open the doorway for open and honest financial dialogue. Over time, these conversations became more natural and began flowing effortlessly.
Starting early and having a partner that proactively works with you and your financial goals helps you to increase motivation and encouragement around these goals. Couples who plan together have a stronger correlation of being happy, and couples that have the best financial planning practices are the ones who continue to work.
Our financial planning picked up when we quickly realized that we had to foot the bill for our wedding. In our mid-twenties, when we got engaged. India had no income due to being in dental school I had a decent income but student loans and various obligations that honestly ate into my salary. These included helping my mom and various family members from time to time. India and I both knew the type of wedding we wanted, which included an open bar, a plated dinner, and a guest list of 200 of our closest friends and family members. Yes, I am fully aware of the splurge expense associated with having an open bar and a plated dinner. Still, India and I looked at our wedding as an opportunity to not just celebrate our nuptials but as a way to celebrate our family and friends that came along with us and supported our journey over the years. We budgeted for over a year and a half to live out our desired wedding. This planning laid the foundation for our current state of financial planning.
After our wedding, India and I began by implementing a yearly financial planning day where we would come together and focus on our financial goals, including conquering student loans, buying a home, traveling, and planning for children. Seeing the value overtime of our yearly financial meeting and our intentionality to continue to build and grow our nest egg was apparent. This financial planning day, which took place once a year, now happens once a month. I haven’t felt more on top of our financial goals and planning than now.
Our monthly financial planning day is a reoccurring monthly invite on both of our virtual calendars as well as our calendar housed in our kitchen. During these meetings, we typically start first thing in the morning and give each other space to share what is top of mind for us. We cover aspects revolving around student loans, upcoming pay dates, major forthcoming bills or payments, Tatum’s college planning, home upgrades, and splurge items (which we try to keep under control). These meetings feel honoring not just to each other but to our baby girl as we are actively planning for her future. They are also honoring our marriage as we continue to work at it daily to get better as a couple.
So, where should you set your focus? You should look into partnering to better understand each other’s desires and financial goals. You should not just aimlessly start with a meeting with no structure. It is essential to understand what your partner values and for your partner to understand what you value. You can start by individually coming up with a values list of 5 items. My values are family, each other, freedom, happiness, and success. You don’t want your values to revolve around material objects, but you do want your values to revolve around powerful items that you are chasing to live your best life. You and your partner should come together and share this list directly. Understanding each other’s values will help set the foundation towards what you are aiming for. It can also help you determine where you may vary and where a new conversation may be needed, which is fine, and at times, healthy. India and I enjoy material things, just like the average person, but you must keep in mind that material items can lead to more debt and unhappiness. Please don’t mistake my words. I advocate for treating yourself from time to time if you work hard for your money, but keep it within reason and ensure you are not causing your family any additional financial burdens with your splurge items.
Set goals around your values. Write your goals on paper and make them real. Determine who you can reach out to and share your goals with. Seek out older, established couples with more experience to question them and the foundation they have established for their family. I cannot explain to you how important this step is, neither India nor I come from affluent or even middle-class backgrounds, so we learn from more experienced couples. We ask to have dinner with our friends’ parents, and we actively seek out guidance. We also watch and observe to learn strategically from these couples. Be careful who you seek out, because everything may not be what it seems from the outside looking in. Therefore, look for those you can trust and who will provide you open and honest dialogue.
Financial planning can be an awkward conversation when you are first starting with your partner, but it is something you have to remember to work at no matter what your income may be. Adequate and consistent planning can help relieve money stress and the unnecessary fights revolving around how your family spends money. Money helps people live, money allows people to do, and money allows people to have; Therefore, determining your financial goals as a unit is imperative. Be progressive in your thinking, be kind to your partner, and lean into the financial planning journey together as a family.